A little stuffed duck. Yellow fur, orange feet and beak. Pink Easter bunny ears. It was Maya’s. I picked it out for her Easter basket. She loved it. She would try to chew on the bow around its neck. Now I can’t let it go. I carry it with me everywhere, even in public. I hold onto its little arm in the store. It sits next to me on the couch when I watch tv. I even hold it when I sleep. It’s getting dirty from constantly being in my hands. But I can’t get rid of it. I don’t know what I would even do with it. Put it in a box somewhere? That just seems cold. But I can’t carry a stuffed duck around with me forever. Right? I just feel like when I put it away, she won’t be with me anymore. I won’t have a little thing to hold or kiss when I miss her. And that scares me.



4 thoughts on “

  1. What a beautiful picture. I think of you and Maya all the time, my heart is heavy for you. I can’t pretend to know your pain. It is so unfair that your sweet baby is not in your arms. ((Hugs))


  2. I’ve been looking for more from you, and tonight something told me to come look. Carry it. Carry it for each and every day that you feel the need to carry it. But know Maya will always be with you, in your heart, mind and soul. She will never leave. Not when the duck leaves, not ever.


  3. Carry the duck with you everywhere if you want! Who cares what other people think, if it helps you feel that Maya is close to you that way then why not? 🙂


  4. Carry it as long as you want! When you feel ready maybe get a shadow box and put it in there along with other things to keep her with you, but, safe and where you can look at it!!
    Thinking of you often!!


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