I just want to hit something. Break something. Break something like Maya’s death broke me. I’ll never be whole again. Nothing will ever be right again. Five, ten, twenty, even fifty years from now, she’s still going to be missing. Everything we do is going to be without her. I’ll never get to take her to the zoo. Or celebrate a birthday with her. Or take all of our kids on a vacation. She’ll never meet most of my family. I’ll never kiss her again. I miss her so much. I never thought it was possible to miss someone this much. A huge chunk of my soul has been ripped out. She was a part of me. More so than anything has ever been. I grew her inside of me. That’s a bond that I have with nothing else in this world. It was the best thing I have ever been. Maya’s mother. I am so honored that I got to be the mommy of an angel. In life and in death, Maya is an angel and will forever be one.

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