I’ve realized that I am not afraid of anything anymore. Death, drowning, fires, heights, losing people, etc. The worst thing that could have ever happened to me already did. What do I have left to fear? Obviously being afraid of things doesn’t change anything. I used to make myself sick with worry over something happening to Maya. I used to not be able to sleep because I would lie in bed and think about what would happen if she died, what I would do, how it would feel, how I would have to tell everyone. And it happened. Never in a million years did I ever think that my worst nightmare would actually come true.