I got her urn back today. It sucked. I can’t believe her body is inside of it. I try not to think about it too much because I know it’s going to kill me inside if I do. I don’t want my baby to be in there. I want her in my arms. We got her clothes that she died in back also. She was wearing this cute little fleece sleeper that had snowmen all over it. It was one of my favorites. The night she died was actually the first time she slept in just pajamas. Before that, she was always in a swaddle blanket or a sleep sack. I’m not sure what I should do with her clothes. I couldn’t even take them out of the bag. I tried, and I just broke down into tears. That’s the last outfit I will ever put on her. And I remember it especially because before Austin got home and finally got her to bed that night, I sat in her rocker with her for almost two hours and snuggled her in that outfit. It was so soft.

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  1. I feel your pain i have read your stories and it breaks my heart i had shedded tears reading them i lost my 6 month old lil girl and everything you say just reminds me of myself its the worst pain a mother could ever go threw and wish there was anything you could do to have it all back i have my daughters last outfit from the night it all happend it not fair that that is all will ever have p.m.left and her little body in a urne knowing they belong here with us

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