I was thinking yesterday that maybe the reason that I had Maya was to help me figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Before I had her, I had absolutely no idea who I was, let alone what I wanted to be. I tried a few things but nothing really fit me. But now I know for sure. And maybe I’ll go on to do something amazing with it that will help tons of other moms. I’m devastated that I had to lose Maya. But maybe, eventually, some good will come of it.


2 thoughts on “

  1. I check on you often. I found about your family’s loss on Baby Center.
    While there no words to make things better, do know I am here in Austin, Texas thinking of you.
    Everyday of my pregnancy I was so grateful to be growing a healthy baby. I had a high risk pregnancy. I thought once my son was born my worry would be over. Nope, not the case. I learned about SIDS . I count down everyday and every week again waiting for his 1st birthday. He is 7.5 months.
    When your Maya passed my son was having a hard time sleeping and for the most part had never sttn. I was exhausted and at the end of my proverbial rope. Even though I held my breathe at every ultrasound (and I had many) and even though I am petrified of SIDS I was getting bitchier and bitchier and not enjoying my new life as mom.
    Then I read about you, Austin and Maya. In one of your posts you stated you wished you done so many things differently. In part from reading about your journey and what you wished you had done I decided to full time co-sleep with my baby boy so he could have stress free sleep. I was weary about full time co-sleeping because of what might happen later…Baby grows up doesn’t sleep alone etc etc. Even though I’m bound to the bed often, I am much happier and much more rested and so is my baby. Even though it doesn’t help take your pain away, you reminded me to relax and do whatever I had to do for my baby to be happy. I hope that brings a microcosm of comfort to your heart. You inspired me to be a better mother and enjoy every little tiny moment. Maybe in a way Maya lives on through all the moms and all the babies whose lives you touched. Sending you light and love. I hope one day you find peace. Take care of yourself and keep writing .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Danielle, I too am from your birth club on BBC. Just wanted to say that I read your blog all the time to check on you, as well as the post on BBC. I wish that I could take away your pain and wish that I can explain why it happened but I can’t. What I can say is this : All things work together for good. Romans 8:28 says so. I’m certainly not saying in any manner that Maya’s death was good. Absolutely not! I can’t fathom what you are going through and why this happened to precious Maya. But, like you said, someday, something good will come out of it. I am not sure when or how, but I know it will. ❤ You’re in my prayers. Keep writing and God bless you guys. Cyndi aka “Mannaboy1”

    Liked by 1 person

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