I would give anything to see you again, Maya. I miss you so much. And I’m so sorry for everything. Every mean thing I said to you when I was tired, every time I made daddy hold you because I just didn’t want to deal with you or needed a break, every night that daddy got up with you instead of me, every time I thought about how it would be easier if you would just go away, every time I said I didn’t like you or that I hated you, every time I wasn’t a good mommy to you. I would give anything to go back in time and do it all over again. I would cherish every second. I wish I hadn’t taken you for granted. I wish that I had realized that you could die at any second and I would never get to apologize or make things up to you. I’m so sorry, Maya. But you have to know that I didn’t mean any of it. I was just overwhelmed and tired and cranky. I LOVE YOU. Don’t you ever think otherwise. I love you so much. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t a better mommy to you.