Dear Maya,

I would give anything to see you again, Maya. I miss you so much. And I’m so sorry for everything. Every mean thing I said to you when I was tired, every time I made daddy hold you because I just didn’t want to deal with you or needed a break, every night that daddy got up with you instead of me, every time I thought about how it would be easier if you would just go away, every time I said I didn’t like you or that I hated you, every time I wasn’t a good mommy to you. I would give anything to go back in time and do it all over again. I would cherish every second. I wish I hadn’t taken you for granted. I wish that I had realized that you could die at any second and I would never get to apologize or make things up to you. I’m so sorry, Maya. But you have to know that I didn’t mean any of it. I was just overwhelmed and tired and cranky. I LOVE YOU. Don’t you ever think otherwise. I love you so much. I’m so sorry that I wasn’t a better mommy to you.


2 thoughts on “Dear Maya,

  1. You were a wonderful mommy! Don’t ever say you weren’t. All moms have those moments. It’s not easy in the beginning. Actually parenting in general is tough. I had those same moments with you. Clear up to your teenage years. You impressed me very much with your natural maternal instincts. I love you young lady!!!


    1. You were the best mommy she could ever hope for! Yes, you were tired, yes, you said some mean things, but she knew, SHE KNEW you loved her! She could have said mean things to you too in her little mind just to make it even. But she loved you, and she loved her daddy and you both love her. Don’t ever say you were a bad mommy to her! You protected her as well as you could! You fed her, and clothed her and offered her your love and your true feelings!


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