One of the hardest parts about this whole experience is how it has affected Austin. Seeing how distraught he was the day we found her broke my heart. He kept screaming her name at the top of his lungs and crying and holding on the side of her crib for dear life. Seeing the man I love more than anything in the world hurting this badly kills me. The man that I am going to spend my life with, have been through everything with, have watched grow into the person that he is, the man that just told me two days before Maya’s death how happy he was to be a daddy, the man that would hold her crying tears of joy because he was just so happy that she was his daughter, that man is now broken. He will never be the same. And it kills me that I can’t do anything about his pain. I want so badly to take it all away for him. To give him his daughter back.