Things are so much “easier” now. I don’t have to worry about wrestling a car seat out of the car every time I want to go somewhere. I don’t have to rush getting all of my things ready to go because the baby is in her stroller crying because I’m not holding her. I have all of the time in the world to get ready. I get to sleep good. I can cook uninterrupted. If Austin and I want to go out of town, we just go. We don’t have to worry about packing enough for an army just to leave the house. We don’t have a constant stream of dirty laundry and dirty diapers to deal with.
But I never wanted easy. I knew that it wasn’t going to be easy and I didn’t care. I wanted to be a mother. I still do. I want to be Maya’s mommy still.