As I start planning my daughter’s funeral, I just feel so lost. How do I even plan a funeral for a baby? She never had a favorite color, or flower, or song. She never went to any churches. She never enjoyed nature, or animals, or anything. Where do we have her funeral? What type of flowers do we buy? Do we have food? Or music?
And looking at urns is basically useless at this point. I can’t decide. I can’t buy her an urn. Because then it’s real. As soon as the date is picked, and the urn is ordered, my daughter is really gone. But for now, I can keep up hoping every night that I will wake up to her crying in the morning. And I can’t handle it being real. My brain cannot fathom the fact that she’s really gone. And honestly, I don’t really want it to. I don’t want to know it’s real. It hurts too bad. I don’t think this will ever feel real to me.