Sometimes you can’t plan for everything..

It really breaks my heart because I was already planning your birthday party. We were going to have a halloween party and lunch with everyone and then take you out trick-or-treating. I was going to make you a pumpkin smash cake for you to eat. Daddy and I were going to dress up as Thing 1 and Thing 2 and you as The Cat in the Hat since you loved Dr. Seuss so much. And I already have long lists of things that I wanted to buy for you for your birthday. And there’s another even longer list of everyone that I wanted to invite to celebrate with us. But now, that list is your funeral list. And those presents will never be bought for you. And you will never get to eat a cake. Or trick-or-treat. Or dress up with us. And it hurts me so bad. I had all of these plans and now they are just smashed. I miss you, baby. Mommy loves you.


One thought on “Sometimes you can’t plan for everything..

  1. I am so sorry sweetie. Wish I could take all the pain away for you. I miss Maya so much too. But my heart is hurting so much trying to imagine what you are going through. You are so strong but I hope you both know that you don’t always have to be. You can put some of your weight on my shoulders. I’d take it all if it were possible. I love you both so much. I’m so glad you are writing this blog. And hopefully it helps others because I know how much that means to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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