What do I call myself now? Am I a mommy? Or some made up word like unmother, or ex-mother? And if I am a mommy still,  how messed up is that? I’m a mother without a child. That’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. All I ever wanted to be was a mother. And now, I’m not even sure what I am anymore.


5 thoughts on “Names

  1. You will be Maya’s Mommy for the rest of your life, her leaving will not change that. You will always be her Mother and she your child. She will live in your heart and ours forever and now God is holding her for you.


  2. That sweet child lived inside your body, you gave her breath…you gave her life, as short as that was….it was YOU that did that. Don’t you ever wonder…Just like me, I’m not an Un-great grandmother or an Ex-great grandmother…we never ever lose the distinction…<3


  3. Wanted to share this with you. It helped me. I lost her just after mother’s day 2 years ago and didn’t know if i was to still be called a mother.

    What Makes a Mother
    By Jennifer Wasik
    Written with love for all the Mother’s missing their babies
    I thought of you and closed my eyes
    and prayed to God today
    I asked, “what makes a Mother”?
    And I know I heard Him say,
    A Mother has a baby,
    This we know is true.
    But, God, can you be a Mother
    when your baby’s not with you?

    “Yes you can!”, He replied
    with confidence in His voice,
    “I give many women babies,
    when they leave is not their choice.
    Some I send for a lifetime
    and other’s for a day
    And some I send to feel your womb
    but there’s no need to stay.”

    I just don’t understand this God,
    I want my baby here.

    He took a breath,
    and cleared His throat,
    and then I saw a tear.
    I wish I could show you
    what your child is doing here.

    If you could see your child smile
    with other children and say,
    “We go to earth to learn our lessons
    of love and life and fear,
    but My Mommy loved me oh so much
    I got to come straight here!”
    I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me
    I learned my lesson very quick
    My Mommy set me free.
    I miss my Mommy oh so much
    but I visit her each day
    When she goes to sleep
    on her pillow’s where I lay.

    I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
    and whisper in her ear,
    Mommy don’t be sad today
    I’m your baby and I’m here.”

    So you see my dear sweet one,
    your children are okay
    Your babies are here in My home
    and this is where they’ll stay.
    They’ll wait for you with Me
    until your lesson is through.
    And on that day that you come home
    they’ll be at the gates for you.

    So now you see
    what makes a Mother
    It’s the feeling in your heart
    It’s the love you had so much of
    right from the very start.

    Though some on earth may not realize
    that you are a Mother until their time is done.
    They’ll be up here with me one day
    and know you’re the best one.

    Liked by 1 person

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