It’s the little things..

That hurt the most. More specifically, my boobs. They are so full. And my heart is so empty because I will never get to breastfeed you again. It was the most amazing thing. I always was kind of weirded out about it and wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it, but once I started, I never wanted to stop. It was so wonderful looking down at your sweet face while you ate and stared up at me. I miss it. I miss you. You’d make the sweetest little noises when you would eat. And you’d grab a handful of my boob and pinch it and it would hurt but I’d still laugh because it was just so cute. Or you would be latched on and hear your daddy and turn your head really fast to look at him, but you’d still be latched so it would hurt me. But your love for your daddy was just too sweet to ever be mad about. And now, after all of the stuff that I went through to be able to breastfeed you, my milk is drying up. And that is hurting me so bad. I don’t want it to go away. I don’t want to be forced to stop nursing you. And I never made my silver 6 month medal. It breaks my heart.


2 thoughts on “It’s the little things..

  1. So sad for you, I knew this would be a hard thing to deal with and cause you even more sadness and I am so sorry for all the pain. Love you so much and pray for you and Austin all the time.


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