Missing Maya

I got to thinking last night of all the things you are never going to do. You will never get to eat real food. Mama was going to do BLW with you and I was SO excited! You were going to get messy and learn how to feed yourself. It was going to be so much fun! You will never get to sit up all on your own. You will never crawl. Or walk. You will never say “mama” or “dada”. You will never be potty trained. You will never learn your colors or numbers or letters. You will never get to go camping with us. You will never swim in a pool. You will never play on the playground outside our apartment. You will never get to start homeschool. You’ll never have any friends your age. You will never have a boyfriend. Or go to prom. You will never drive a car. You will never have your first kiss or fall in love. You will never graduate. You will never go to college. You will never get married. You will never call me in the middle of the night because your new baby won’t stop crying and you don’t know what to do, just like I had to do with your Grandma Stacey. But at the same time, you will never feel pain. Or heartache. Or loss. Or fear. Or worry. Your entire life was love. And it almost makes it okay that you will miss out on so much. Mama misses you baby.


2 thoughts on “Missing Maya

  1. This is hands down one of the most beautiful things I have ever read. I am from the Nov BBC birth board. You and your beautiful family have been on mind. Sending so much love your way.


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